The thing that hits me the most is that for 4 hours last night, there was a room full of people who was genuinely happy to be together, be out, be partying, be friends and just living life. I have been feeling a little down lately on what feels like a time where the world wants to complain, argue, compete about who is busier or has it harder in life and look down on others for their opinions about things. Last night, every person was met with a smile - even if you did not know them (or was not quite sure if you knew them . . . . . . . ) because we were all there for a common purpose - to have a great time and celebrate that we spent anywhere from 1 day and 13 years of our childhoods together in some way in what I believe was an amazing place to grow up - Clifton, NJ.
- There was nothing to complain about. I mean sure - I guess if you wanted to, you could have found stuff to complain about - nothing is perfect and not everything is for everyone, but that's the thing. . . . . nobody was complaining, even if there was something to complain about. That was refreshing and exciting.
- No one was arguing (at least no one that I saw!) I've planned many a party, event and social gathering. The amount of time spent debating every tiny detail just to have others tell you everything that is wrong about the decisions you make it agonizing! I'm sure there were many debates between the team of organizers about how to put everything together, but once we were there, the guests all showed their appreciation for everything and I was not involved in any conversations about everything that was "Wrong" about the party. Only everything that was great about it! Again - so refreshing!
- There was no competition. No competitions about who has more kids. No competing about who's kids are older and why certain ages of the kids make life easier or harder. No competing about who has a harder job, a longer commute, less time to get things done, sleeps less or has to deal with more crap. Instead it was all about praising each other for how wonderful they look, how they love seeing your social media updates and how happy we all were to see how happy everyone else is. REFRESHING!
- None of the toxic debates about politics, religion and all the things that people get heated about. At least not in my presence. For one night, there were no worries. It did not matter if anyone disagreed about important topics or had differing opinions about very important things. The only thing that mattered is that we were a part of the Class of '99 (or a guest of someone from the class) and we were there to party.
Ya know what else? Today, all day I kept wanting to check Facebook because it was just constant positive buzz about what a great time everyone had. Pictures, long reminiscing posts, words of appreciation and a desire to try to make sure we don't wait another 10 years to do it again. The tricky part is that while we are all on a high from the great time, Monday morning will be here before you know it and everyone will be back to work - back home after their weekend of friends, Hot Grill, Rutt's Hut, Bruno's, Giants games, Tick Tock Diner, disco fries and Taylor Ham Egg & Cheese sandwiches - and the likelihood is that all the excitement may wear off and we'll have good memories and potentially lose touch again because life gets in the way. That's why I LOVE large group events. The larger the group, the more likely people are to try to get in on the action; get a sitter, book a flight, take a long drive, get a hotel room. It's hard to keep in touch with everyone all the time. So now the challenge is to try to keep the momentum going - not every week or even every month, but maybe once or twice a year, to try to put something together that can get a bunch of people together. Ya know, even with the great turnout, it still is likely that 2/3 to 3/4 of the graduating class members were not there. There are still events to be planned, parties to be attended and fun to be had and we don't have to wait until we are 48 to do it. Personally, I have a plan to try to create something for next summer that would be a way for me contribute to this effort. In typical Joey V style, I'm going to set up a class of '99 Yankee game trip and tailgate for next season. Nothing major, but who knows, maybe 50 (or 10, or 500) of us will come together and have a good time, a fun tailgate and not completely lose touch.
Ya know what's interesting about reunions? Most people either love them or hate them. Not the actual event, the idea of them. I can't tell you how many people told me they have NO USE for a reunion. They say things like "They didn't talk to me in high school, why would I want to talk to them now?" or "If I wanted to stay in touch with someone, I did." Or even something like "Why would I want to see all those people" This morning I have seen a number of posts or comments from people that did not come saying they wished they had gone or they regret not going based on how fun it looked, even some that said they were not planning to come but decided last minute to attend and were so glad that they did! In my opinion, it really does not matter all that much how perfect or imperfect high school was. It's been 20 years. We are all grown up. We are teachers, doctors, mechanics, chefs, coaches, architects, administrative assistants, actors, electricians, movers, lawyers, business owners, authors, gamers, landscapers, painters, cashiers, musicians, bloggers, bankers . . . .. whatever. We have our group of friends, but the HS cliques are gone. It's not about who you were friends with in 12th grade on the day of graduation or who you decorated your car with on that day. It's about the relationships you had from the beginning.
Last night, I had about 3 minutes to talk with someone who reminded me that we were in it together starting in KINDERGARTEN! Mrs. Bielen's class at School #5. There were only a few of us there that went back that far together. We tried to scan the room and see how many of us there were. There was at least 1 more and another who joined us in elementary school in 5th grade. We did not really hang out all that much after school 5, but there was no real reason for it. The school just got bigger. We had no problem with each other and we always had a connection - we just did not spend as much time with each other anymore. Then there was a crew of people who I was really tight with in middle school at Woodrow Wilson MS. If you asked me back then, I would have guessed they were going to be a huge part of my life forever. But we drifted, early in high school, as happens in life. Again, if I spoke to any of them for 5 minutes last night, it was a lot - there were so many people there - but there was such a joy in reliving old memories with them and I got a feeling that they were truly as happy to see me as I was them. Now we are all friends on Facebook and we see each other's posts and we all remember each other exists, but let's be real - there are just not enough hours in the day to find time to see everyone. Does that mean that we are dead to each other? Heck no! Have we gone separate ways? Yes. Was it on purpose? no. It's life. There was another crew of people that I was real tight with in MS and it carried over into high school and grew to include people from CCMS. We were in band together until graduation, but even that group drifted and morphed a bit to where we were friends and classmates, but didn't really hang out together. (a number of us reconnected after college and do see each other a couple times a year.) In 10th grade, I started hanging out with some senior band people and when they graduated, I got tight with the incoming freshman class That group is probably the group of people who have lasted the longest in my most direct circle of friends I spend time with, by the way. I did not spend a whole lot of social time in high school with the people I graduated with, but I spent 8 periods a day with them for all 4 years, and had countless memories with them from that as well as various school events and of course School 5, WWMS, Little League (Western Division represent!) CCD, band, choir, talent shows, prom, homecoming, etc. You don't have to be best friends with someone to be happy to see them and you didn't need to be tight with them every day of your childhood for them to still matter. There are also people that I really did not hang out with much at all before college who are a part of my life now as we somehow connected later in life. And that was what last night was all about to me.
I was a little disappointed as the night went on because I actually developed a little bit of a headache that was messing with me. It was from talking really loud and from smiling too much. I know it sounds weird, but that happens to me sometimes. I was screaming my head off and talking a lot at the Yankee game the night before, put in a full day of work with my marching band and then came to the reunion. My voice was shot before I even arrived and I was having such a great time that the head was starting to hurt. Because of that, I bailed on the after party. This is the 2nd time that this has happened in the past couple months where I was literally getting happy headaches. Weird, but there are much worse reasons to get the ol' headache. (And no, it was not from drinking too much.)
One last thing about last night - Some people were surprised that Kristyn came with me. I guess a lot of spouses did not want to come or stayed home with the kids whatever. I'll tell you what - she can hang with the best of them! First of all, she was able to get into conversations with people she never even met before and she was right at home. She did not need me to hover over her and I did not have to be afraid to talk to someone else while she was in a conversation with one of my friends. Everyone seemed to feel like they knew her already because we share so much on Facebook, and what was really cool was being able to put faces to all the stories I have told her in the past. Countless times last night I said to her, "remember this story - That was this person!" That was really cool for me. I like to tell stories and reminisce and it was great to be able to bring her into the part of my life she was not around for. I enjoyed that a ton and she actually knew more people than she realized she would.
So I have no idea who will read this and how far anyone will actually make it into this long, drawn out and potentially boring post, but if you are still here, I hope that it inspires you to go to your reunions, make time to remember the fun times from your past, reach out to an old friend here and there and smile a little bit each day even when life gets crazy. I smiled for 4 straight hours last night and can't wait for another night like that where we can just forget everything and just have a great time with great people.
Lastly - I'm impressed at how our crew can still party! Great job everyone and I hope to see you all again soon. To Jill and the rest of the planning crew - I know you've heard it a ton the past 24 hours, but thanks again for all you did to make last night a success. As a person who plans a lot of events, I regret not being a part of the process at least in a small way, but you nailed every aspect of it and thanks for that. Class of ' 99 - Stay posted in March/April for an announcement about a Yankee game trip this summer that I plan to put together for us and as we all wrote in each other's yearbooks . . . . "K.I.T."
Joey V
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